Her: I just remembered I have popcorn!
Me: Real or microwave?
Her: Wait… there’s something other than microwave popcorn?
Me: You must be joking.
Her: I mean, I guess I can figure out how you could have another option … but I wasn’t aware that that was still prevalent.
Her: Or something.
Her: Is it like, you put kernels in a pot?
Me: Yes. Like kernels in a pot. With hot oil.
Her: Huh. Imagine that.
Her:I’ve obviously been missing out.
Her:Wait, isn’t there a lot of corn in Iowa?
Me: Yes. Tons.
Her:Well, there you go. That’s why I don’t know.
Me: It has nothing to do with being an Iowan
Her: I was just looking for a loophole.
As noted in the comments, This post should have called the ignorant popcorn eater a 21-year-old. I used 20-year-old because A) I was tired and B) as a poor stand-in for “twentysomething.” Death of a Pig regrets the error.