Chat with a 20-year-old Florida resident: an IM transcript

Her: I just remembered I have popcorn!

Me: Real or microwave?

Her: Wait… there’s something other than microwave popcorn?

Me: You must be joking.

Her: I mean, I guess I can figure out how you could have another option … but I wasn’t aware that that was still prevalent.

Her: Or something.

Her: Is it like, you put kernels in a pot?

Me: Yes. Like kernels in a pot. With hot oil.

Her: Huh. Imagine that.

Her:I’ve obviously been missing out.

Her:Wait, isn’t there a lot of corn in Iowa?

Me: Yes. Tons.

Her:Well, there you go. That’s why I don’t know.

Me: It has nothing to do with being an Iowan

Her: I was just looking for a loophole.

Update
As noted in the comments, This post should have called the ignorant popcorn eater a 21-year-old. I used 20-year-old because A) I was tired and B) as a poor stand-in for “twentysomething.” Death of a Pig regrets the error.

2 thoughts on “Chat with a 20-year-old Florida resident: an IM transcript”

  1. Clearly the copyeditors made a mistake in not catching the error. I am corrected. However, apparently there isn’t a big enough difference between 20 and 21 to jack shit about real popcorn.

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